Park Avenue (Bonus!)

Camila tells Ana about the late 80s Teletext soap opera ‘Park Avenue’ written by Robbie Burns, which has been archived by Park Avenue Archives (TW: @ParkAvenueArk; http://www.newmailbox.co.uk/parkavenue/ ). They then read through some episodes and learn about the DRAMA happening on Park Avenue!

Follow us on Twitter @OurFriendComp
And Instagram @ourfriendthecomputer

Main research for the episode was done by Camila.
Ana edited.
Music by Nelson Guay (SoundCloud: fluxlinkages)

Transcript

0:14

I like that You say 3 to 1, and then you click events and clusters like 3 to 1. You can't be too prepared with these things, you know? Hi. Welcome to our friend The computer, A computer history podcast. I'm Camila Galaz. I'm a writer and visual artist, and I'm here with my lovely co-host, Ana. Hi, I'm Ana. I work as a web developer and producer for online courses and, yeah, a podcast host. Now, as it Seems to be. Gotta update your LinkedIn. I know I've updated my website. I've added this. I've added our friend the computer website to my website. I have not done that. Oh yeah we have a website. Yeah we have we have a website that we're working on, but it's kind of it's minimal at the moment, but you know, it's just going to continue building. I think that's kind of nice. So we should we tell? Yeah. Tell the ether about it. Do it. Ok so it's our friend the dot computer so it doesn't have like a dot org or dot com extension but it has a dot computer and then it's just like the name as one word otherwise. And yeah, it's, it's got our podcast episodes on it for the time being, but we may have other plans for that space. But yeah, it's not I don't want like a minimal I want to have like a max. Yeah. Maximal Maximalist. I want like maximum amount. Lots of gifs all over. Mhm. And I just want to, I basically want it to be like a Neopets fan site from the twins. Yeah. We'll make that happen. So far we just have bubbles coming out of the cursor. That's the only interactive stuff we have. But it's. It's enough for now. It's enough. I love it. You did a really good job, but this is a bonus episode. So we've been doing our season on pre-Internet networks and we're doing these sort of little fun bonuses that are looking at different uses and services that were available on these networks. So we've been looking at a lot of video text networks, but this is about a teletext service. So we had a chat about teletext previously where video text is a two way communication so people could sort of interact with it. Teletext was one way, so it was just like text that was supplied to you so it would pop up on your television screen and it, so it would be these like these screens that you could click through. So we're looking at Oracle, which was a teletext service in the UK. It started in 1978 and it closed in 1992. And my favorite part is always what this acronym stand for and Oracle stands for Optional Reception of Announcements by Coded Line Electronics. Do you think that the name came first or do you think that what it stands for okay, this definitely the acronym for sure. It sounds evil and big and cool and the long name just sounds really vague, but so long. Like why are you going to make a name that's so long and make it vague at the same time? Because we just call it Oracle, just that. Okay, so, so it provided lines of text on the TV screen via a receiver. These included advertisements, news, TV listings, and then also some original content such as the daily soap opera named Park Avenue, which is what we're going to look at today. So Park Avenue was written by a guy called Robbie Burns. It began in 1988, and they ended up airing 1445 episodes, which is a lot of crazy content. And it ended it only ended with like the end of Oracle, which was four years later. So it was around for four years. Was it made by the BBC or something like that? I don't know. I actually yeah, I think I know it's like ITV, so because it kind of reminds me of I mean, we'll get into the way that the stories are written, then kind of displayed later. But it really reminds me of like the BBC for radio soap operas where you have maybe like five characters or something. I think it's The Archers and there's just like a storyline that follows and this like fictional life that they're living in like a suburb. And it really reminds me of like the storylines that they have with Park Avenue a little bit. But yeah, that's just a little tangential. I get no sense that this one was very low fi, but yeah, I mean, I guess it's all from the UK and I guess it's taking away from radio plays. Mhm. So it was a daily, it was a daily soap opera via, it's all via text though. No audio and new episodes would arrive on the service daily at 5 p.m. and they included around like 6 to 10 pages of text and sometimes they'd include these like teletext images, like a pixel based image of the main characters. And it was funny because I think sometimes these images were actually they just sort of made teletext versions of other like they had source material that was like some someone on the, on like a cover of a, of a music album or something. And then later people realized that they just sort of copied these other images. Yeah, I really wonder how they made these images because like, they're all quite photorealistic. They're not like comics. They're kind of like someone took a photograph and then somehow converted that photograph into like an eight bit pixel image. So I really I wonder what the process behind that was also like. Speaking of the kind of low fi ness of teletext and video text, I kind of just realized that like these video texts and teletext can kind of be described as like web 0.0. Yeah, you know, you have web 1.0 where you have like an actual web page with like a scroll bar, but it's not really interactive at all and it's just like information on a screen. And then you have Web 2.0, which becomes more interactive, and you can start putting your own inputs as a user and chat and relate to people. And then you have Web 3.0, which is a little bit more like complicated with like the back end of how stuff is stored, but or who it's owned by. But yeah, Web one Web 0.0. I feel like that's quite a good analogy. You know, like the fact that there's no scrollbar. It's eight bit it's not really that interactive, but it's more of just like a yeah, like a news channel or radio being kind of converted into text. Yeah, I don't know that that was I feel like we should have called our podcast web 0.0. Yeah. Or what? Web 0.01 maybe because that's to be some existence of it. So the reason that we have like a lot of information about Park Avenue is that there is like organization graphical, someone that is archiving it. They go to Park Avenue archives on Twitter, that Park Avenue APK with a k k and their website is an email box UK. But they're doing this like amazing job trying to retrieve and archive all the episode scripts and like ephemera from the show. And they retweeted this short article from 1989 about the writer and I'm going to read it. I it's the article is called Revenge is Sweet Eric who subeditor Robbie Burns knows how to get his revenge. Anyone who messes Robbie about may find that he's become a character in Aka's new daily drama Park Avenue on ITV. Teletext page 126 The doors to this suburban street which Robbie found by sticking a pin in the A to Z opened last December. The soap aims to be topical, but there will be an element of Rob's revenge. And then there's a quote from him. Someone recently broke into my car and stole the stereo, so I immediately thought of a burglar getting caught in Park Avenue, he says. And as for whether Sarah stays with the estate agent, it depends on how my own agent gets on with selling my house. So some of the archived episode scripts from like recorded VHS tapes, I guess that people just still like Pat around and others are text printouts and they've archived 877 episodes so far and they have 568 still to go. So wait, so no screen casts or screenshots, No, no. Too Web 2.0 for that today I thought maybe we could like read some of the episodes because they're kind of fun. So we're going to read episodes one, two, four. So like the first four and then I want to skip and go to the very final episode, Episode 1445. So these were a page, so they had pages. So I'm going to read each episode. I'm going to read like this, the intro and then the first page, and then we'll like switch out the pages for each episode. Is that good with you on it? Sounds great. I'm ready. Okay. I'm excited to learn about what happens on Park Avenue. So episode number one was Thursday 1st December 1988. The story so far we really jump in here. I feel like Richard Gold and live in girlfriend Sarah right on getting on. She thinks he doesn't work hot enough and he thinks she works too hard. Rich's estate agency isn't doing too well. Susan Finder is running up a huge credit card bill. Local paper editor Dave Finder is set for a showdown with his and over the papers quality. Robert, find out, has shocked his parents by putting on an earring. Don Davie is desperately looking for an acting job. Right. All right. So first page, An investigation has been launched into a train crash in Newcastle in Sarah Riot switched off the radio slash alarm and yawned. She sat up in bed and stared at her boyfriend, Richard Gold. He wouldn't have to get up until 830 to open up his estate agency, Gold's. He had a reasonably easy life, she thought. Well, she had to work 100 hours a week as a junior doctor at Parkville Hospital. He owned megabucks, so she picked up very little for the hours she had to put in. She felt tired and irritable and wondered why I should ever study to be a doctor. 100 hours a week is a lot of hours a week. That's crazy. Also, what is an M.D.? I don't know. I was like, Doctor, but I don't know why he would be in a showdown with his doctor over his papers, calling. Well, maybe we'll find out. Yeah. Okay. All right. Next page. Next page. Sarah scrambled out of bed. She'd finished at the hospital at midnight, and she was due in again at 7 a.m. as she opened day one of her advent calendar. She'd always had one. Richard woke up. What's the time? He mumbled. Six, said Sarah. And when you get in tonight, for Pete's sake, clean up the house. It's a tip. Have the night off the wine bar for a change and do something useful. Just I mean, I love I love this attitude. Stop nagging, moaned Richard, and put the duvet over his head. Sarah strode out into the morning to face her growing list of patients and banner waving nurses. Oh, so the NHS strikes were on back then too. I mean, I get it. She she finished. She finished work at midnight. Yeah. And she has to be there at seven. So she, she got home at like one and has to leave at like six. All right, next page Sue find her.

Finished watching the 1: 13:43

00 news and got ready to go out. She'd taken an afternoon off her part time secretarial job to do some Xmas shopping. The second post arrived. She owed £450 on her credit card but didn't worry too much. Her limit was £800. She'd been spending a lot on clothes recently as wife of a local newspaper editor. She went to a lot of dos and she liked looking good. As she walked to the bus stop, she thought about what she had to buy cards, clothes and little presents for the children. The turkey could wait. Okay, wait. So I'm just going to ignore it. Like any mention of monetary value in this, because when was this made? 88. Yeah. So like, the currency would have just completely fluctuated since then and you know, the value would have increased. So she should be worried because it means she owes a lot more than 400 and. Yeah, yeah, that's like quite a lot for the time I guess. Okay, cool. So next page, Richard Gold was proud of the estate agents office he'd set up a year ago, but that was during the property boom and he and his partner Clive weren't making as much as they used to. Just six months ago. Look after the office, Carob, said Richard to the receptionist. Clive and me are off to lunch. Richard and Clive walked down Parkfield High Street. How's that cracking girlfriend of yours, then? Asked Clive Knox. A law replied Richard, That's when I get to see her. Of course, she's always at the ready hospital. I want to decode Ruddy the bloody hospital. Right next page. Can I join you? I've registrar at Parkfield Hospital, Paul Clinton asked Sarah right as she was having a quiet cup of tea in the hospital's canteen. Shah said Sarah So how's life? Asked Paul. Sarah felt a bit nervous in the presence of Paul, and not just because he was a bus. She had always rather like to even fancied him. They chatted for quite a while about how busy the hospital was, the long hours and the nurses regrading issue. Paul suddenly said, Can I take you out for a meal sometime? Perhaps. Why not? Replied Sarah. She couldn't believe her luck. So that's why she's spending so much time at the hospital. Yeah, she's like, I have to work a hundred hour. I do? Yeah. Yeah. Back home. What am I right? Okay, Next page. Christmas Muzak music. Muzak. Muzak blared out from the shops in Parkfield High Street, and Sue Finder walked around trying to decide what to buy first. She felt quite warm, considering it was now December. She paused to look in the new window of Parkfield Department store. Two men stopped as they passed her and when asked her for the time. It's Sue didn't quite finish the reply as one of the men grabbed her and the other tried to take her handbag. She held on and started screaming. Suddenly she felt a blow and blacked out. No. Oh, that's really that's really that's really sad. Shadegg. Yeah. I feel sorry for her. Yeah. She's never going to be able to listen to Christmas music in the same way she. All right, So then we have to wait a whole day to get to see what happens. Okay. That was episode two Friday, 2nd of December 1988. The story so far, Susan Finder, is running up a huge credit card bill. Even though she was just like, I'm so local paper editor of the same Think Day Finder is set for a showdown with his MD over the papers quality. Sarah agrees to go out for a meal with Paul Clinton from the hospital. Robert find a has shocked his parents. Oh, he was alright. This already checked his parents by putting on an earring. Dan DAVIES desperately looking for an acting job. Sue is mugged in Parkfield High Street. Och, mugged. Just mugged, then. Just mugged. We're going to discharge you, said Dr. Sarah. Right To Sue. Find who was lying in a hospital bed with her husband, Dave, at his side. Sue had a nasty bump on the head. Yeah. I mean, this doesn't seem like a large town. Sue had a nasty bump on the head, and apart from a bad headache, she felt okay. I still can't believe you were mugged in Parkfield High Street in broad daylight. Said Dave. At least I didn't get much. Just ten quid. I had my credit cards in my pocket. You just got to keep them close. I was really scared. I just can't believe it happened to me. And there were so many people around. No one tried to help me even though I was screaming, said Sir. Could they find her? Walked out of the ward with Sarah as Sue prepared herself to leave the hospital. Are you sure she's going to be okay? Steve anxiously. Yes, said Sarah. But she'll have to take it easy. Have a week off from work. Have there been a lot of people, Mike, like that recently? Asked Dave. You work for the local paper, don't you? Said Sarah. Well, don't quote me, but we've had a lot of people in who have been mugged or attacked in the street, said Dave thoughtfully, once. Okay, that's a great crime. Spree Avenue investigation continues. I like his response, just like right next page, Sid said. Ivy Smith, interrupting her husband for the third time as he tried to read Edward and Me by TV Blond, a gripping story on the front page of the Daily Express. Yes, said Con, interrupting. We split up this house into flats to make money in our old age, didn't we, Ivy? Yes, replied Sid. So why haven't we had December's rent from Don? Alcohol. US Ivy. Well, they're only two days late. They've both been in trouble before. Ivy interrupted. All right, I'll go and see them, said Sid, returning to the Express. Ivy glared at him. He was too soft when it came to business. Yeah, landlord business. Yeah. Chases. We don't like. I don't like these two already. No. Day Finder drove his wife home. They went into the kitchen and Dave made them some tea. I've got to get back to work soon. Are you going to be okay? He asked, giving her a hug. They've been married for ten years and they were very close. Although there had been a few rows recently about their children, Robert and Jane. It's always your fault. That's the earring that we keep hearing about. Oh, yeah, I think so, said Sue. What's the latest on the work front? To be honest, I think I may be in trouble. The employee has asked to see me on Monday. I don't think he's like the last few issues. There's not much news around, replied Dave. Okay, so the M.D. is part of the investigation for Park Avenue, figuring out what it means. I feel like we're we're slowly getting to the. Is he the editor? Sounds like it. Yeah. Oh, like the guy that maybe owns the paper. And Dave, is that someone else in charge of what Dave is writing about? Yeah. So Dave really needs to get a story, and maybe this mugging is. Is the one. All right, next page. Here we are. Done. The stage is all yours, said John Hardy, owner of Park Stores near Don's flat. Thanks. And a packet of jacket, potato crisps. Probably all I'll have today done, Dave DAVIES said bitterly. Probably all of it occurs. Sounds good. It was a tailor. Yeah. It's not like I mean skins. Well, no, no, because a jacket potato is like a boy. Like a boiled potato. And you put stuff inside, and then potato chips are obviously chips. Yeah. So what the hell is this, like, hybrid combination of I want wanted potato cooking styles. Yeah, I want probably all I'll have today. Not David's and fiddly. Are you running short of money against John out of work? Actors don't get much for fight done. You never know. There might be a job in here. He opened the actors newspaper. I thought you were good pretending to play the fruit machine in that soap. Said John. My only part in three months. Great work done. And love your voice for. It's evolving the more I learn about it. You're an actor. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I couldn't do that for my bit. You were good, though, said John. It really looked like you were a man playing a fruit machine. Very funny. I've got to get a part soon. I'm just waiting for Sid to ask where December's rent is set. Done. Sid and I've are a nice old couple. They'll give you time, said John. Maybe. Maybe they started out until dawn, stared out into a rainy Park Avenue and wondered if he'd ever work again. Oh my God. So at this stage, the stage is the actor's neck is the acting. Oh, okay, cool. He looked at the stage again. Hang on, he said. What a good idea. He went home and grabbed the phone about the job. He said, Oh, that's a cliffhanger this time. Yeah. All right. Episode number three, Saturday. So it's a Saturday, 19th December

1980 8: 24:10

05 p.m.. Put that on the teletext. The article we want know what's happening. Well they had a little putting on our shoulder pads flopping on. All right. The story so far, Susan fan still running up a credit card bill. They find it still set for a showdown about the paper. Sarah has agreed to go for a meal with Paul Clinton from the hospital. Oh. Neither Karl nor Dan Davie can afford to pay Sid and Ivy this month's rent. Don may have found a job and then Sue was mugged in the Parkfield High Street and she's returned home from hospital. Okay, first take look through, Sue. I know. And I feel like we've really with neglected her. She just needs to. The phone rang at 10 a.m. in the find a household. Sue, find. I picked up the receiver at her bedside. Oh, man. My grandparents had, like, a telephone next to bed. Really? Yeah. It's a really old school thing that I only see in the movies these days. Is Robert there? As the voice. Sue wearily shouted to her son Robert phone. She heard Robert go downstairs to take his call. Dave stood under the duvet. Who was that? He asked. A call for Robert. You've got to talk to him. He isn't doing any schoolwork. And he got an earring. Said sir. Yes, okay, said Dave, sitting up. More to the point. How are you? My head still feels a bit sore, and I keep thinking about what happened all the time, said Sir. I mean, she's probably got, like, post-traumatic stress. They just sent her home. I know. Where's the journalist? He's the journalist. Here he is. So let's go down the arcade and play the machines, said Robert's friend Jason down the phone. Okay, replied Rob, who seemed to spend most of his time in the arcade. Robert got dressed and took the bus down to the high street. He had £5, which soon disappeared as he played the fruit machines with Jason. Why don't we get tattooed? Suggested Jason. I don't know. My mum's already got mad about my earring, said Rob. I'll find out how much it costs, said Jason. Have you got any money? I've run out. No, replied Rob. That machine's just taken my fiver. Wait, so he has a gambling problem? Is that what's a fruit machine? It's like a slot machine, right? Or is that. Yeah, like a do something else. Well, if. Yeah, it's like a slot machine, but like, in a game room, it's like an arcade. It's more of just like a gaming. I don't think it's like a casino. I don't think it's like I do like they do in the eighties when they're. Yeah, but it's like the era getting Ted to play arcade games. Okay. Yeah, right. At least they're not drinking. I mean, maybe there's a lot of episodes that they need content for. So a good with kids then? The personnel officer at Park Fields Department stores asked Don Davey, who felt his interview for the position of Father Christmas had been rather tough. Yes, he says, the depressed one. Yes, I love Donald. Okay. I'm going to give you the job with time off for auditions if you need said the part, you start on Monday. It's great that the job hadn't really been what Don was after when he looked in the actor's paper at the stage. But at least he could pay Sipsmith the rent and buy his parents a decent present. Ho, ho, ho! He practiced as he took the bus home. So. Right, so tired and worn as she battled with another long day at the hospital. She did want to spend more time with Richard, but she had told him when they decided to live together that junior doctors worked long hours. Paul Clinton is that he's that commitment. Yeah, I said Clinton. Do you think it would be kind? I think it's Clinton. Yeah. Okay. A registrar interrupted her thoughts as they crossed in a corridor. Oh, Sarah, about that meal. How about Tuesday night? Um, yes, I suppose so. Great. Sarah felt nervous, but also excited at the thought of going out with Paul. She'd just tell Richard she was working anyway. She was only going out for a meal. Wow. Sarah. Wow. I mean, Paulson can't resist a sexy boss like her. I didn't say he was her boss. Said he was a boss. He's the boss. All right, next page. I still feel a bit nervous about going out to find a toad. Dave as he watched the football results rolling in on the TV. Not. That's hardly surprising. Yeah, it's like receiving. It's hardly surprising after your ordeal. Look, let's go to the cinema tonight and take the kids. You should be okay with all those around you. I suppose so. I just keep going over what happened in my mind, said Sir Robert and Jane came into the room. Oh, no. Bloody football, moaned Jane. We're all going to the pictures tonight, announced Dave. Even if Robert. So yes, we're all going to the pictures tonight, announced Dave. Even if Robert swaggered here. Robert wondered what his dad would think of him being tattooed. So much so misunderstood and ostracized. Or porcelain. Rubber. I like the underdogs. The Finder family settled down to watch a fish called Wanda Field Cinema. They were all enjoying it. Although Jane, an animal lover, was upset when a little dog was squashed in parentheses by a lump of concrete in this film. I need to see this film. I do. But I don't remember anything. Sounds great. Sue was feeling nervous, and suddenly she felt claustrophobic and found it hard to breathe. Oh, PTSD coming in. She stood up, breathing heavily, moved along the aisle and rushed to the exit. Dave ran after her. What's the matter? Take your son to the floor. What's the matter? I don't know. GASPS Sue. Can you take me home? Sorry. That's really silly. Okay. I feel really bad. This is quite interesting to see the way that mental health issues are being portrayed. I feel really like she's not okay. No, And it's all very kind of like blunt and cold and only depending on her symptoms, like she's actually not. Yeah, people aren't asking her anything. Yeah. And she kept saying, like, I keep I keep remembering, I keep flashing back and then everyone's like, yeah, I mean yeah, that happened. That did in fact happen. All right. So episode four Sunday,

4th of December 1980 8: 31:57

05 p.m.. We've all got to go to work tomorrow. The story so far. I mean, it's the same Suzanne Find has still got a credit card debt bill they find is waiting for stuff. There's a showdown with them over the papers quality. Sarah has agreed to go for the meal with Paul Constant from the hospital. Neither Karl not on Dave can afford to pay Sid and Ivy this month's rent. Dawn gets a job playing center at the department store. Robert Finder spends £5 on the fruit machines and Sue is still nervous about going out after the mugging and has a panic attack. It's my first page. Robert Finder came down the stairs. He was the first to stare on Sunday morning. Oh, it's just occurred to me that this is literally like day. The day it's the day, the day that it's being broadcast. Yeah, that's cool. He walked down the hall and saw his mum's handbag on the floor. Oh, he stopped still to listen if anyone else was up and then opened the bag and took £10, he thought to himself that he a lot of money back then. It's double what he lost on the first double what put it now. Probably if he'd put it back he'd win loads on the machines. Rob Sister Jane came down the stairs and Rob tried not to look guilty. Morning, said Jane. I said, Rob, shame we missed the end of the film last night. Yeah, agreed. Jane. I don't know what's the matter with Mum. She's in a funny mood now. She was mugged. Yeah, man. Bad vibes in that house. Mugged and now mugged by her own son. Yeah, she's okay. Don felt good as he went to get the Sunday papers from park stores. He had a job which would help pay the rent. Yes. Is playing Santa Claus at Parkfield Department store from tomorrow? Don asked store's owner John. Well done, said John. But I thought you hated kids. I love said like action on the love, Love I love. Don went home and climb the stairs past it in Evie's flat and then met fellow tenant cattle Murphy on the stairs. I can't pay the rent yet, said cattle confidently. I can't either. We'd better not answer our door, said Don. Ran, strike, ran straight. Right. So it must be hard that they're like living in the. Yeah. Building. Yeah. The watchful eye. Yeah. Of Ivy. The King. Next page. I can't believe you've got a whole day off, said Richard Goad, as he and Sarah scanned the Sunday papers in the living room. I know it's great not having to worry people for a day, she said. It's so bad for her. In her hectic schedule, the doorbell rang and Sarah opened the front door. It was Dave finder. I wondered if I could have a word he said. It's about my wife. Sarah invited Davey and enlisted. Pace listens patiently as he told her that Sue was frightened to go out after her mugging and had had a panic attack when Dave left. Robert said so much for not having to worry about people for a day. Sixsmith knocked on his tenant cattle Murphy's door no answer, but said was sure he could hear movement. He knocked again, then went upstairs and knocked on Dan DAVIES door. No reply. Although the smell of freshly made toast wafted out into the corridor. Got God, the landlords like his. It's just like that. Like smelling, smelling, smelling. If there's humans inside should went back downstairs. Well, did you get the rent from them? Demanded Ivy Smith. They aren't in said said. I bet they are, said I've. We've got to catch them on the stairs. Well I'm not spending all day sitting in the corridor, said said five, said Ivy. If we get no rent we don't get Christmas dinner. So Sarah said, you'd have to go to your GP and maybe see a specialist If you carry on being nervous about going out. They find it. Told his wife, Well, that's a fat load of help, replied Sue. By the way, I seem to have lost the £10 note. Maybe you dropped it in the cinema last night, suggested Dave. I suppose I must have done so. Oh, well, never mind. Don't forget you promised to speak to Rob about his schoolwork and the earring. I'm more worried about this meeting with the M.D. tomorrow. I hardly think I'm going to get a pat on the back, said Dave. I want to know, like, what's up with his paper and why it's struggling. So yeah, maybe he needs work more. She said. He barely goes to work. I think he needs to work like 100 hours. Hmm. Right. You just need another £5 and we can get our tattoos done. Robert finds his friend Jason told him as they wandered around town center. And there's this acid house party on next weekend. If you fancy it. Acid house. Amazing. I don't know if it's actually a house. I think it's. No, I think it's a house. Is it a house party where they do acid house after party At house party. Yeah. There's like acid house party house phrase. Hyphenated acid is one word rather. I mean acid house, house hyphenated and then party. There's no hyphen here. So I think we can choose whatever. Yeah, true. Whichever way we want to go with. Yeah, great, replied Robert. See you at school tomorrow. He went home just in time for Sunday lunch as he passed his sister's room, he noticed a pile of change in a glass bowl. He looked around, slipped into the room, took out some pound coins, and started to put them in his pocket. He turned round and saw Jane, you thief. She said, Oh, turn, turn, turn. Wow. Cool. Okay, so that's that's we're going to do the final episode now. But like, there's a lot that they packed into your day to unpack here. Yeah. I mean it's and it's also interesting, like the social commentary of the time and even the stuff about like generational things like with the tattoos and. Right. Yeah. Like what kind of like blasphemy kind of meant then, which was like basically not paying your rent on time and wearing earrings and stealing. I guess stealing was kind of bad. I mean, I don't know. I feel like your values were a bit different, I guess. Yeah, definitely a lot more conservative than the stealing is. I imagine the stealing is going to get more and more intense. Yeah, and something will happen. Also, tattoo's so cheap and that is true. Like 16, £15 for two tattoos. And Jason, what did Jason say that he said so. So he had he stole ten Rob stole £10 and then Jason said, we just need another five and then we can get our tattoos done. Oh, yeah, that's crazy. But then again, like this, the value was a lot lower. I mean, a lot higher. Yeah, but not. Not like I feel like tattoo is a very expensive, Bill. Yeah, they're like 60 quid, I think. Like a small one. Yeah, that's true. No, the, the difference is crazy. And it's cool that they're sort of looking at this landlord, landlord and stuff. Yeah. They're all really not likable characters. Yeah. I mean, except the guy from the, from the store was like, they're nice old people, but they're not being portrayed nicely at all. Yeah, Yeah. Also, though, we have to remember this all comes from the mind of Robbie Burns, who has said that he is taking like, revenge on people in his own life. So maybe he had some really bad experiences with the landlord and like, I got to get that on paper. All right, so let's skip to very final episode. So this is episode 1445. So that's there's been a lot of story that's happened. It is Wednesday, the 30th of December 1992. So we're going to do the story so far was pretty much the same in all this other ones, but it's quite different now. So the story so far, Sarah and Harriet are being attacked by what they think is Richard's ghost may Harriet is hit by a book. The rector is also scared when he tries to exorcize the ghost, Jane wins her battle, her grades are improved and lecturer Richards is suspended. But Richards threatens Jane near her landlady. This house, they find, is working on a brilliant scheme which he'll reveal on New Year's Eve. Karl comes back on Christmas Day and is reunited with Mary. Okay, so like the drama has significantly increased real shift in genre turned to a psychedelic horror. Yeah, Yeah. That acid house party really changed people. Okay, so some new characters here. Harriet is the rector. Jane is the daughter. I think the one that was like you sees. Oh, yeah, They find her still there. Mm. And Sarah was the one that was at the hospital, right? Yeah. Okay. All right. This is firstly, this isn't capital, which is insane. How are you feeling? Richter asked. Sarah. I'm all so the clergyman sitting up in bed at the hospital. I think they're going to discharge you, said Sarah, you've got a bit of a nasty gash. I'm very worried about this violent, ghostly presence of yours at the Rector. It's Richard, said Sarah. Even when he's dead, he causes trouble. Okay. It's Richard, the curse Richard got right. So Richard is her husband from earlier, and she was cheating on him. Going to cheat on him with that? With Paul. So? So Richard died at some point, so she's free. I just realized that now that, you know, I was like, why is it in capitals how you feel Like they've just changed the format and now every new page starts in capitals. Oh, okay. That makes sense. I'm not going to do with that. You can do it that way. You want it to be good. Like dramatic start. Just to wait to wake our audience up. Yeah, Myanmar are staying with you and Dave, said Sarah, it doesn't seem safe to stay in the house because it's all because it's not that. Yeah, I'll have to consult people in the church who have more expertise in this than myself, said the Rector. Oh, no more exorcists, Alice. He doesn't seem to be following us around, said Sarah. I do feel that Ghost is very dangerous, said the rector. One of you could easily be killed. Stay away from the house, okay? Absolutely. Everyone. Was it Dave and Sue's New Year's Eve party? Jane had brought Andy, who was hopeful they were going to get back together. Don and Angela looked happy. Carl and Mariam held and looked very much like a couple in love. Jocasta and Mary danced happily to the music. Sarah and Harriet chatted to Terri, whose eyes opened wide when he heard of the ghost haunting the house. At a party just before midnight, Dave called everyone together. He held what looked like hundreds of pages of computer printouts in his hand. Oh, the computer is introduced. I think Hector, our friend Ray, our friends, the confused friend, the computer character. Someone turned the music off. This could be too good to miss. I hope this is good. After all the big build up, said Sue. My friends, the computer said, Dave, What I have to say may come as a shock, but I do think you'll find it interesting at the end of my page what I hold in my hand. A details of all your lives and the events that have happened in the Avenue in the last four years, he said. Just think of it all my battles at the paper, my wife leaving me and coming back. Mariam getting kidnaped, Kojo stealing money to gamble the siege. Siege, of course, Sid and Ivy Smith winning a million. All those landlords want $1,000,000. Oh God. Richard Ratings, Sarah The failure of the Hotel Ivy Seeing aliens, Jane burning and these clothes to name but a few things. What about the evil twins? Do they come round at some point? God, I don't know. What's that? What's the final page? And read it out? Dave continued. Basically, I've written a soap called Park Avenue and you know, ceefax the teletext service. It's going to screen all these adventures as a written soap. It'll be on the air every day and it'll revolve around everything that's happened. I'm going to give you all a percentage of the money. My pseudonym will be Robbie Burns. Yeah. Oh, my God. It's like the Matrix. Well, forgive me, said Carl Cattle. I've been saying this whole time, the end and that is, says Dash. Ah I, I, I may have degraded, I would say yeah, that's a really good meta ending. I like that. I'm shocked by all the things that happened in the four years I know. I kind of want to know about them, but also maybe not. But yeah, it's interesting what you said earlier about how it's written by Robbie Burns, who has like obviously this built up this kind of distrust in his community, from his community. And he's obviously like, yeah, I've written out the story. I mean, yeah, I guess it's like, I like that Robbie Burns, the real life Robbie put himself and let credit himself in the final, final. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But also interesting that, that like then in this way it's like the real world and the teletext world coming together. And what does that mean about Robbie Burns then? Like if you look back at all the shit that Dave that Dave did that was in our weird combined universe, that means that was Robbie Totally. And then also like, it's very ironic that the computer was introduced in that last scene. Like, why did they mention the computer, when then like towards the end he was like, Oh, it's all going to be written on Ceefax until it is. But it's funny. I mean, I don't know if they like, put that much thought into it, but it's interesting to think about his then computer printouts, which is just like printed text. So I guess that he the idea is that he's been like secretly typing this for years, which makes sense because he's a journalist in your early hours saying, Oh, it's meant to be describing that day that it's being broadcast. Yet this is basically saying it's four years late. So like for the past four years, he's been writing down everything happened. So have we. And then it's going to be broadcast on the teletext. So it's like, have we actually what we've been what we were what people had been reading every day. Is that actually like his private notes or is that this was like set in four years early. Don't know. There's just a lot. I feel like there's a lot in there to unpack. Yeah, multiple Trixie definitely because yeah I mean the fact that like the telex, this telex soap opera was aired on the day that it was said for the story to be happening, then yeah, the fact that you said that that was actually all in the past, it means that like it in like IRA time when people were reading these these stories every day, they were actually like, looking into the future. That's quite cool. That's a fun little play on time. What what do you think about, like the idea that this was a really popular soap that ran every day for four years? They're really short. It's a really like digestible chunk of text. I mean, it's basically just like, you know, three or four tiny little paragraphs. And it's I can I can imagine that happening if you don't have like other forms of entertainment with ceefax. But it is also like really, really similar to The Archers on BBC Radio four, which to be fair, I do listen to what I like cooking my dinner on, on like a Sunday or something. How long the episodes? Oh God, I don't know. Maybe 15, 20 minutes. Like not that long. But even if you skip, like, even if you skip an episode, you. There's still the same characters and everything happens really slowly and there's like, drama and gossip. Good things, bad things happen, but you're able to kind of like make sense of the general gist of the story with missing a couple of episodes because the people are obviously busy. So it's kind of a nice like chill way of following a soap opera, which isn't so like intense and heavy as it is now, where you like binge watch Netflix TV shows and it takes up like, you know, a day or two of your life and then like, lost that time basically. So I can imagine it being popular. It's cool to see the way that they've made drama and like intrigue just through text. Mhm. Yeah. I mean I guess the, the there are like dramatic kind of soap opera books and things but I guess I think of soap opera as being very visual and audio based especially like people's reactions. Yeah. I think yeah. They played a lot with the fact that it was really dialog heavy but also because it was so minimal, like it allows for so much imagination for the reader. That's really cool. I like that it's minimal even though we are into maximalism now, I guess. I mean, you and me, we and our website are into maximalism, but yeah, yeah. Park Avenue on our website. Well, thanks for reading that with me. Thank you. That was really fun. We had a laugh going to work on my British British accent, something I've been doing for like ten years and I. So next episode we're going to go back to a heavy research, one that's looking at the Japanese video text network. Captain, do you have any updates? What's happening with external pages, external pages kind of on a hold at the moment? I've just been I've just been like working and like traveling a lot. So so my seeing my mom and my friends in various countries. So yeah, I've, I've been slacking a little bit with my like digital creative things, but that's fine too. I'm just slacking, you know, It's not acting, it's not slacking because nothing was like nothing was set up in the first place for for for next steps. So that's the key. That's the key. I just don't want any don't set up. Don't expect anything. What about you? Yeah, I've got a couple. I'm working on a few things. I've got I've got a few sort of writing projects that I've got coming out soon to be nice. Yeah, just developing a bit of film that I'm starting to develop. And I just finished a film project that might be showing screening sometime soon, so maybe I'll have some snacks. First episode, maybe. Yeah. So thanks everyone for being with us for this. If you want to read the rest of them. This, you know, more than half of them are available. It's at New Mailbox UK, which is the Park Avenue Archives, and they have a great Twitter account. Yeah, we'll put all the accounts and links in the show notes which you can check on our website. But yeah, thanks everyone and we'll see you next time. Yeah. Bye bye.